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Archaeologists Accidentally Discover Colonel Sanders’ Secret Recipe.

January 1, 2013
Colonel Sanders KFC Loiusville Kentucky

Kentucky. After years of searching for the flying one-legged dinosaur, archaeologists from the WE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO SOCIETY have accidentally discovered Colonel Sanders’ secret recipe which was located in a secret basement in Louisville, Kentucky.

The secret basement was said to contain the secret recipe for the Colonels’ 11 herbs and spices. After digging through the artifacts they found KFC’s “Holy Grail”; all 11 herbs and spices. They have not publicly released the recipe, but according to a reliable sauce source there’s allegedly a secret 12th spice. News of this mysterious 12th spice has sent the world into a panic prompting the Pope to release a public statement saying “There is no need to panic, the church has known about the 12th spice for years.”

Another rather disturbing discovery was made later that day. A large number of photographs and home-made videos were found in a secret compartment in the basement; of what appeared to be chicken porn. There were pictures of some finger lickin’ good chicken thighs, chicken breasts and legs. The age of the chickens has not been confirmed yet, but they appear to be very young; sparking rumors that the Colonel might have been a pedophile.

For years it was suspected that he fathered Chicky, KFC’s famous children’s mascot, due to the uncanny resemblance, it is not known how many mutant chickens he’d fathered. At the time of writing, Chicky was not available for comment.

The archaeologists have vowed to continue their search for the obviously non-existent flying one-legged dinosaur claiming, “This will be one of the most important discoveries in history, as no one has yet discovered a disabled dinosaur.

- The Daily Informant

39 Comments
  1. Thanks for letting me camp out in your blog for a little while today. I had a great time and tried to leave my campsite as good as when I arrived. I’ll be back in a couple of weeks!

    • No problem. You’re always welcome.

  2. I don’t know whether to laugh of rejoice.

    On another note, I’m curious as hell to know this recipe. I’ve yet to taste any chicken like Kentucky’s in my life.

  3. Reblogged this on Queer Landia and commented:
    Finger-licking’ good blog, eh!?

  4. I really dig Archaeologists!

  5. ;-D Great, wonderful, finally!!!

  6. Hahahahaha hilarious! Shame they didn’t release the recipe, eh.
    Thanks for following my blog!

  7. This was funny. I like your style mate, and I look forward to searching the boot of your car. You may confess in advance, save yourself the pain.

    • I have my rights!

  8. Reblogged this on BIENVENU and commented:
    Special Thanks to the Daily Informant for liking my blog and also following me. I checked out your blog and found your page to be interesting as well, and it made me happy to read your haul post over KFC. :] Cheers!

  9. Yours is a truly unique and impressive approach to blogging! We are now both found and followed!

  10. I’m so glad I gave up KFC; I would never want it to be known that I supported pedophilia.

    Funny post and thanks for the follow!

  11. Very funny! Thanks for following me…I will definetaly return the favour!

  12. Thank You for liking my beauty mark drawing!!! Your my first comment on the piece!! It means alot to me!! Visit anytime… *Cynthia

    • No problem. I’ll definitely come back and check out your blog again.

  13. hello, i have nominated you for the liebster award! http://wp.me/p2GxHb-1Aw

    • Thanks for the nomination, but I’ve already been nominated.

      And congratulations on your nomination.

      • your welcome, and thank you to :-)

  14. Thanks for filling us in on this important discovery.

  15. Now I know why it’s called “the dirty bird”!

  16. “For years it was suspected that he fathered Chicky, KFC’s famous children’s mascot, due to the uncanny resemblance, it is not known how many mutant chickens he’d fathered.”

    I’ll give you my guess as to what the 12th “spice” is…

    • What is it?

  17. tinkadele permalink

    I’ll never look at the Colonel the same again…

  18. Haha this is awesome. So clever. Every time I go to KFC and quiz them about their herbs and spices. The last question will be a true or false about the 12th spice.
    Also, why is the Colonel albino?

    • He does look like an albino in that pic, doesn’t he?

  19. lol…love the part about the pope,at first when i saw the title i thought ‘what!? for realllll??” the serious newspapery tone is awesome it does make it all the funnier as the other commenter said. thanks for the visit and follow and likes!!

    • I’m glad you liked it. More to come.

  20. Your blog is awesome! I love the serious newspaper tone in your writing that makes the article funnier, in my opinion ;-)
    Thank you for stopping by Not Pretending, and I’m honored you decided to follow me. Occasionally I write posts in a category I call “This Could Be News”, that reports future news. Would it be OK to add a link to The Daily Informant when I post one?
    Thanks,
    Jodi

    • No problem, you can definitely add a link.

  21. Hahaha! Mel Gibson as the 12th Spice! Hey, maybe The Spice Girls could make a comeback… The KFC World Tour… Possibly include members of the Backstreet Boys. They aren’t doing anything. Sell fried chicken breasts at the concerts and call them Spice Racks. I’m just spit balling, here… Really enjoyed the post — you have a new follower :)

    • I think you’re on to something here! The Spice Girls should give you a cut of the profit, It was your idea after all.

  22. For what it is worth (?), I’m mostly a thigh and breast man, myself. OOPS! WERE WE TALKING ABOUT CHICKEN? The same applies! Thanks for visiting me and finding something to like at BY THE MIGHTY MUMFORD. More to follow…come back anytime! You are a funny guy!

    • I’ll definitely check out your blog again.

  23. Hahaha love it! :)

    • Thanks.

  24. A new twist on Chick-Flicks …

    • Ha Ha. I never even thought of that one.

  25. “The 12th Spice” I’ll bet the movie will be coming out any time now.

    • Starring Mel Gibson as the 12th spice.

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