Archaeologists Accidentally Discover Colonel Sanders’ Secret Recipe.
Kentucky. After years of searching for the flying one-legged dinosaur, archaeologists from the WE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO SOCIETY have accidentally discovered Colonel Sanders’ secret recipe which was located in a secret basement in Louisville, Kentucky.
The secret basement was said to contain the secret recipe for the Colonels’ 11 herbs and spices. After digging through the artifacts they found KFC’s “Holy Grail”; all 11 herbs and spices. They have not publicly released the recipe, but according to a reliable sauce source there’s allegedly a secret 12th spice. News of this mysterious 12th spice has sent the world into a panic prompting the Pope to release a public statement saying “There is no need to panic, the church has known about the 12th spice for years.”
Another rather disturbing discovery was made later that day. A large number of photographs and home-made videos were found in a secret compartment in the basement; of what appeared to be chicken porn. There were pictures of some finger lickin’ good chicken thighs, chicken breasts and legs. The age of the chickens has not been confirmed yet, but they appear to be very young; sparking rumors that the Colonel might have been a pedophile.
For years it was suspected that he fathered Chicky, KFC’s famous children’s mascot, due to the uncanny resemblance, it is not known how many mutant chickens he’d fathered. At the time of writing, Chicky was not available for comment.
The archaeologists have vowed to continue their search for the obviously non-existent flying one-legged dinosaur claiming, “This will be one of the most important discoveries in history, as no one has yet discovered a disabled dinosaur.
- The Daily Informant